No Chance

So basic back story is here, I’ve been contemplating whether to write this. But it’s a long story so I might have to do this in two parts…..

So this goes back to when I was a little embryo, a tiny baby ready to see the big wide world. But unfortunately I didn’t realise what my mother was capable of, this is a story of alcoholism, drug addiction and abuse.

I was lucky to not be the one my “mother” aborted. I was lucky to have come out a normal baby, considering she drank, smoked and consumed drugs whilst I was busy growing my own ears and you know being an unborn baby and all.

My “mother” had always told me I was worthless and that she wishes I was never born. And to some stage I convinced myself I was worthless, and wished I was no longer on this earth.

I thought my life would be amazing, I would have this amazing job and abundance of friends and I would get to live on my own like a grownup. But no. Those big dreams was always pissed on, she always found a way to bring me down.

I lived in West London, Near Acton. And went to school like a normal child. But one day I asked to see my dad and BOOM! Her pale hand collided with my face, and again and again. I was 4 years old when I was first hit repeatedly, I thought I did something wrong but little did I know I didn’t.

Being a normal child was soon lost. She stopped me from going to school for weeks or even months on end. She used her “manic depression” as an excuse, but really it was because she beat me till I could no longer speak. Every time I mentioned my dad BOOM! Another smack of her hand would grace my skin.

Years would go by and the abuse remained constant. But evolved, first it was smacking and hitting but soon turned into hair pulling and being chucked around the room like a rag doll. Every day she would crack open a can of beer for breakfast and drink her way through till 4 in the morning.

I remember standing outside block flags near my estate in the rain waiting for her to come out of this grotty flat with a bag of green stuff (street name:block). As soon as we got back to our flat it would be the case of locking me in my room whilst she blared out old music and lit up!

She would squander our money on alcohol and drugs, which left us stealing out of Somerfields (local shopping market) and placing the empty wrappers into the freezer section behind bags of peas and chips……

Part two comming soon……..

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